Xeni Flies Zero G, #6: Like prom in your brain

Creative genius and zero-gravity veteran Matt Fraction says,

This is gonna be like prom in your brain.

Like, one of those things you're never, ever gonna forget. You'll tell your kids about it and describe it to people you meet for the rest of your life.

I went to Space Camp. Shut up. I rocked that flight suit, goddammit. Anyway. So, you get -- or got, i dunno if they do it any more -- to sit in this weirdo chair device that looked like a giant C-clamp. [Ed. note: The consumer-oriented space joyride I'll be taking on Wednesday includes no such device; the Zero-G Corporation sells an entertainment/adventure travel experience different than the research-oriented NASA space camp Matt attended.] So you sit in the C-Clamp, with the bottom curl of the C running between your legs like a saddle, and the curve of the C at your back. The top and back of the C were connected to the ceiling by bungee cords and an elaborate weight and pulley system. Now, the bungees were connected to some sort of wheel-strut-track thing thing, like the cars on a roller coaster track, only the track was bolted to the ceiling. And the track went straight forward for about 10, 20 yards or something. Got it?

Okay, so, the important part was the weights. See, the weights, when in cooperation with the bungees, would replicate moon gravity on your body which, if my geek remains on, is 1/6 earth weight? Something like that. So, you'd walk-hop the length of the track in moon-weight with earth muscles. You could leap 15, 20 feet straight into the air and control your fall back down, span yards with every step, and basically kick it Armstrong style until it was the next kid's turn.

It was unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's one of those things that i'm just gonna take with me to my grave, probably the closest I'll ever come to space, in its dippy space camp way, you know?

Anyway. Ever since -- and it's been 15 years now -- my dreams are plagued with strange gravity situations, somewhere between flight and swimming, all because of those five little minutes in that tourist's chair. In my dreams i'm a whirlygig, i'm a helicopter, i have invisible bungee cords connected to god and I can move like superman.

It happens a lot, and my life, waking and sleeping, feels richer and stranger and better because of it.

My fingers are, like, triple-crossed for you. And, hey, not *everyone* throws up on the vomit comet. Oh, and If you want to be, like, totally hardcore, you should bring an iPod (or whatever mp3doohickey you have) and listen to the Ramones. In ZERO-G!

Previous "Xeni Flies Zero-G" posts: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.