Earthlink's crazy-talking support staff

It looks like Earthlink has hired performance artists to staff its live online help department. Look at the fine job "Val P" did in pretending to be a gobbledegook-spewing support worker. Matt, who only wants Earthlink to send him a modem, says he has read it twice and still can't make sense of it.

Val P: I am sorry, but the tracking number is not generated yet.

Matt: WHAT? Matt: This was supposed to have been shipped over a week ago

Val P: The tracking number available is 1Z6R1W530240197995.

Matt: and it says that it was shipped or billed on July 27

Matt: 2nd day air

Matt: it's Aug 9

Val P: Yes, you are correct.

Matt: well why hasn't it been shipped, this is getting ridiculous

Val P: But the tracking number for the new modem is not generated. As the shipping method is in 2 day, it should be generated in 2 days.

Matt: so it still hasn't been shipped?

Val P: I am sorry, it is not yet shipped.

Matt: why?????????

Val P: The request has been sent to the appropriate department to send you the kit. I request you to wait for 2 days.

Matt: this is getting ridiculous, it has now been almost a month since I had service and at least 2 if not 3 weeks since the new modem was requested and supposed to have been shipped out

Val P: I am sorry for the inconvenience caused to you in this regard.

Matt: are you able to look up the trouble ticket number on this complaint? i do not have it handy and would like to discuss this over the phone with someone

Val P: Kindly hold on, while I check it.

Val P: Thank you for being on hold.

Val P: I see that a new request has been sent to the appropriate department on 08/05/04 to send you the new kit. I suggest you to wait for 2 to 3 days until you receive the kit.

Matt: an additional 2-3 days? from today?

Val P: No, it is from the date the request has been sent.

Matt: today is the 9th

Matt: 8/5 plus 2-3 days would be the 7th or 8th

Val P: Yes, you are correct.

Matt: so why isn't there a modem here, or at the very least a tracking number?

Val P: I request you to wait for 2 days please as the request is already sent.

Matt: so not from the 5th but from today

Val P: Yes please.

Val P: Let me know if you have any further issues to help you with.