The Lurkers Support Me in

The Lurkers Support Me in Email (to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"). I dunno why I didn't post this here before! I was reminded of it by a stupid thrash on a message board that shall remain nameless.

Now on this noble newsgroup I've come lurching into view,
And clearly I have caused a stir, top-posting as I do;
I only had two reboots with my disc from AOL,
Then I plugged into my WebTV, and posted here as well…

Yes, the lurkers support me in email
With gusto and vigour and vim
And so does the Pope and the President, and
My invisible weasel called Jim;
I'm amazed at this Internet thingie,
I've been typing so hard I've got cramp,
But I've only just worked out what "posts" are,
And tomorrow I'll take off the stamp..

Now though I haven't read the FAQs, I feel I must protest
At lectures on Good Form from those who think they know the best –
It's *easy* to reply to text the higher up you go,
And that dear man, Mr. H!pcr!me, taught me everything I know…

Yes, the lurkers support me in email,
And they're sure to back up what I post,
But they're far too scared to admit it,
Since the flamers here char them to toast…
The lurkers support me in email,
And I *do* know about netiquette,
I can prove that my sig looks fine fifty lines big,
You should see all the fan mail I get…

Yes, the lurkers support me in email,
And the Warlords are marching as well,
And B1FF likes me, and so does Free Porno,
I've got personal mails – I can tell;
And they're all writing to net-abuse.usenet
To complain about how you behaved;
All my Internet troops will lay siege to your group
So not one little post will be saved.

You're all doomed if you don't pay attention
'Cos I am the one who knows best,
And I don't care I'm posting in HTML
'Cos I'm posting through Outlook Express!

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