Reason 4,332,442 not to ask

Reason 4,332,442 not to ask for strategic advice from the wizards at KPMG: A guy linked to KPMG from his fabulous site of horrible corporate anthems. KPMG sent him this notice:

A recent audit of Web sites, to which KPMG is hyperlinked, has revealed that
www.corporateanthems.raettig.org contains a link to KPMG's Web site,
www.kpmg.com. Please be aware such links require that a formal Agreement
exist between our two parties, as mandated by our organization's Web Link
Policy.

You got that? KPMG believes that links between Web sites require formal agreements between both parties. Imagine an Internet where the clueless fantasies of these wise and highly educated individuals were reality. The engineering shortage would be dwarfed, nay, made invisible, screaming dirtwards asymptotic to zero, by the worldwide panic to train and ship armadas of contract lawyers.

Do you think that KPMG's law firm sold them this bill of goods at some stupendously dull "Internet Strategy Overview?"

"What's this line-item here, Hyperlink Contract Drafting?"

"Oh, that. It's the law. If you're gonna put a link on your site, you have to have a formal agreement with the linked party. You haven't heard about this? It was on CNNfn all day yesterday!"

"Oh . . . yeah, sure. We heard of that. Now, about this 'World Wide Web Auditing?'"

"Well, sure! You gotta audit the Internet! That's how you find people who link to you without permission and shut 'em down."

Anyway, the nastgramee had a cute response:

i'm not quite sure how a policy on your part translates into action being
required on mine. my own organisation's web link policy requires no
such formal agreement. the free associative nature of hyperlinking
has always been and remains the central characteristic of the world wide
web. one which i would hope kpmg would be able to embrace – given their
decision to make use of the medium – even if it fails to increase shareholder
value, or, indeed, your vision of global strategy.

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(Thanks, Rich!)