Christ, a university with its own private eye squad made up of failed Fed cops? What's next, a no-fly list for the campus shuttle-bus? Lookit these Keystone Kop bumblers, chasing people around because they're "interested in bilingualism." Hey, Concordia grads, is this how you want your alumni donations being spent?

[Photo by BB reader Todd Warner. More about the image after the jump.]

As promised, Wikileaks is releasing on to the 'net more than half a million confidential pager messages sent around September 11, 2001. The data includes pager messages sent by officials from the NYPD and the Pentagon, as well as citizens who witnessed the collapse of the twin towers. As I scroll through the archives, though, what strikes me as most fascinating is the jumbled mix: plaintive, automated cries from printers who've gone offline, or servers begging for a reboot -- those pings are jammed up against urgent ALL-CAPS messages from wives asking their husbands to please call and let them know they're still alive. There are commands for officials to "meet in the situation room." And texts from disgruntled corporate employees, asking why their bosses don't just give them the day off already. There's not much fodder for conspiracy theorists, but there's a lot of random weirdness:

2001-09-11 09:15:38 Arch [1376997] B ALPHA (27)Hey Honey! Can you bring some bagels when you get back? The pork chop is now crying about the World Trade Center plane crash. Geez! It is scray but no reason to cry. Talk to you later! I love you!

Good morning sexy man!! Got my zebra thongs on!!! Feeling a little animalistic!!!

2001-09-11 07:51:33 Skytel [002691994] C ALPHA TAKE YOUR TIME. I WILL NOT BE AT 1WTC UNTIL 9:30 A.M. THANKS, SHAWN

Philip Agre was reported missing by his sister who resides out of state. She indicated that she had not seen Agre since the Spring of 2008 and that she became concerned about him when she learned that he had abandoned his apartment and his job sometime between December 2008 and May 2009.

Philip Agre is described as a White Male, 49 years old, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He sometimes wears a full beard. He is 6'0" tall and 120 lbs. Agre suffers from manic/depression. Agre is a former UCLA Professor.

"Friends and Colleagues Mount a Search for a Missing Scholar, Philip Agre" (Chronicle of Higher Education)

"The Mysterious Disappearance Of Phil Agre" (NPR)

T-shirt: Freshjive (via Raymond Roker)

Ladies and gentlemen, we have (hot, natch) particle-on-particle action. If the time-traveling, LHC-hating Higgs boson particles are really out there, they don't have a whole lot of time to get together another baked goods-based offensive.

The first protons collided in the Large Hadron Collider today at CERN outside Geneva, Switzerland. These first collisions are another milestone on the way to the ultimate goal: high-energy collisions of protons in the center of the LHC experiments. They follow a weekend of rapid progress for the LHC. After more than one year of repairs, on Friday evening, November 20, beams were once again circulating in the collider. Over the weekend, the LHC team carefully studied the beams one at a time. Today at approximately 1:30 local time, two beams circulated at the same time for the first time in the LHC. As the two circulating beams passed through each other, protons from each beam hit one another, and the resulting spray of particles registered in the ALICE, ATLAS, CMS, and LHCb detectors.

The first two protons collided at the relatively low energies with which they were injected into the LHC, 450 GeV each. Over the next few months, LHC scientists will raise the beam energy, aiming for collisions at the world-record energy of 3.5 TeV per beam in early 2010. With these high-energy collisions, the teams on the LHC experiments will embark on their quest to solve some of the mysteries of the universe.

Symmetry magazine, First Particles Collide in the Large Hadron Collider

Raw Dash Cam: Bank Robber Gobbles Up Holdup Note

The Decline: Geography of a Recession, by Latoya Egwuekwe (American Observer, via Jason Calacanis)

Microsoft is ready to pay Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. to remove its news content from Google, according to the Financial Times. Microsoft has also approached other "big online publishers" with similar deals.

Secretary of State Peter Mandelson is planning to introduce changes to the Digital Economy Bill now under debate in Parliament. These changes will give the Secretary of State (Mandelson -- or his successor in the next government) the power to make "secondary legislation" (legislation that is passed without debate) to amend the provisions of Copyright, Designs and Patents Act (1988).

What that means is that an unelected official would have the power to do anything without Parliamentary oversight or debate, provided it was done in the name of protecting copyright. Mandelson elaborates on this, giving three reasons for his proposal:

1. The Secretary of State would get the power to create new remedies for online infringements (for example, he could create jail terms for file-sharing, or create a "three-strikes" plan that costs entire families their internet access if any member stands accused of infringement)

2. The Secretary of State would get the power to create procedures to "confer rights" for the purposes of protecting rightsholders from online infringement. (for example, record labels and movie studios can be given investigative and enforcement powers that allow them to compel ISPs, libraries, companies and schools to turn over personal information about Internet users, and to order those companies to disconnect users, remove websites, block URLs, etc)

3. The Secretary of State would get the power to "impose such duties, powers or functions on any person as may be specified in connection with facilitating online infringement" (for example, ISPs could be forced to spy on their users, or to have copyright lawyers examine every piece of user-generated content before it goes live; also, copyright "militias" can be formed with the power to police copyright on the web)

Mandelson is also gunning for sites like YouSendIt and other services that allow you to easily transfer large files back and forth privately (I use YouSendIt to send podcasts back and forth to my sound-editor during production). Like Viacom, he's hoping to force them to turn off any feature that allows users to keep their uploads private, since privacy flags can be used to keep infringing files out of sight of copyright enforcers.

This is as bad as I've ever seen, folks. It's a declaration of war by the entertainment industry and their captured regulators against the principles of free speech, privacy, freedom of assembly, the presumption of innocence, and competition.

This proposal creates the office of Pirate-Finder General, with unlimited power to appoint militias who are above the law, who can pry into every corner of your life, who can disconnect you from your family, job, education and government, who can fine you or put you in jail.

More to follow, I'm sure, once Open Rights Group and other activist organizations get working on this. In the meantime, tell every Briton you know. If we can't stop this, it's beginning of the end for the net in Britain.

Tom sends us video of a Maricopa County Sheriff's Deputy named Adam Stoddard stealing a public defender's paperwork, during a court proceeding, in front of the court's security camera. Tom adds, "The local news clip is really worth seeing, if only for the reporter's incredulous lead-in: 'The Maricopa County Sheriff's office backing one of its deputies after he takes away a lawyer's paperwork in court.' If you live in Arizona you're subject to the daily outrage from Sheriff Joe Arpaio. It's a bit like Philadelphia during the Rizzo years."

The deputy claims he wasn't stealing the paper, he was searching it for contraband. H's been found in contempt of court, and the judge has ordered him to apologize:

Those conditions are:

1) On or before November 30th, 2009, at a time convenient for Ms. Cuccia, a news conference to take place in the plaza on the north side of the central court building where he is to give Ms. Cuccia a sincere verbal and written apology for invading her defense file and for the damage that his conduct may have caused to her professional reputation.

2) If at the news conference, Ms. Cuccia does not state that the apology is sufficient, Stoddard will report to the jail on December 1, 2009 and be detained until further order upon a finding that he has complied with the purge clause.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio responded to the ruling early Wednesday, saying Superior Court judges do not order his staff to hold press conferences.

Update: Dan Gillmor points out that the Heat City blog has done great work on this, breaking the story.

Barring any major uptick in stupid, this will be the last time I poke the 2012 believers with a stick. I swear. (At least, until January 2013.) Besides, this is a slightly different take than the usual debunking. The Santa Fe Reporter (the paper) sent Santa Fe reporter (the person) Corey Pein into the heart of the End of the World Industrial Complex to capture a slice-of-life that is by turns frustrating, fascinating, depressing and hilarious.

To be precise, there are 1,149 days until Dec. 21, 2012, when something will--nay, must--happen. It won't be the end of the world but, if it is, SFR regrets the error.

And later,

One nine-part YouTube film claims "The Illuminati Freemasons" have conspired over centuries to erect the new tower of Babel, aka the Freedom Tower, over the World Trade Center site in 2012. ("Anti-Semitism tends to float behind some of the conspiracy theories," Hoopes says.) The sublimely paranoid film also claims that since the 1970s, this cabal has "conveniently conditioned you to accept that global warming is all your fault," when actually "Your SUV's have little to do with it.. THEY.. conditioned you to become AFRAID of the SUN and CO2." Another production--by a man whose résumé boasts a few years' work long ago as a CNN field producer--makes the exact opposite argument, assailing "global warming deniers" for hiding evidence of the coming catastrophe. "In 2012, Americans will be burying their dead as their forefathers did during the Civil War--by the thousands. By the tens of thousands," the narrator says solemnly. (He goes on to pitch a "2012 Survival Guide," $34.90 plus shipping.)

My Oh Mayan! from the Santa Fe Reporter

When it was revealed that the U.S. resorted to torture to extract information from prisoners, many people my age must have had a very somber thought for the thousands of young Americans who had given their lives on the beaches of Normandy in a brave effort to rid the world of governments that engaged in such shameful practices. Two other thoughts flashed to mind: the stupidity of giving up the high moral ground at a time when the U.S. had earned so much goodwill thanks to its stand on democracy and human rights; and the pointlessness of such interrogations, often stated by our military experts, since the victims will generally admit to anything in order to stop the pain.

My friend, French Résistance leader Jacques Bergier, who was tortured multiple times by the Gestapo, made the ludicrous "confession" that his network planned to invade Corsica. In reality they were looking for heavy water and for Werner von Braun's rocket base.

As a child of World War Two who remembers its limitless horrors, my revulsion at the practices of Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib was so great that it took me a while to realize the more positive implications: if our henchmen used waterboarding, a practice so primitive it placed us in the same hateful historical imagery as the caves of the Inquisition and the cellars of the Nazi, this can only mean that all the fancy interrogation drugs developed in classified labs in the 60s and 70s have failed: there is no truth serum. We should be relieved about that.

Today's is my last guest post here. I want to take this opportunity to thank Pesco and Boing Boing for inviting me here and giving me the latitude to say whatever I wanted to about whatever crossed my mind. I'm especially grateful to everyone who took the time to comment on my posts, whether you agreed with them or not. You're an amazingly thoughtful, opinionated, funny, articulate, out-of-the-box bunch, and for the most part admirably civil. The reservoir of wit, knowledge and intellectual firepower that Boing Boing has on tap is truly astonishing. As I'm sure I've said before, I don't write because I know so much--I write because it gives me an opportunity to learn. And you've all taught me a great deal. I hope I can come back and contribute to Boing Boing again; in the meantime, you're all welcome to drop by my own blog any time.

I began last Monday with my lucubrations about Orly Taitz and the birther movement. For the sake of symmetry, I will close out with some remarks about another woman of the right, Alaska's ex-governor Sarah Palin.

My husband called me last night all a-twitter and once I got him talking slow enough to understand that he wasn't going on about "six pennies", I could sympathize with the high level of enthusiasm. Earlier this year, "Sixth Sense Technology" from MIT---basically, a visual interface system that allows you and the computer in your cell phone to communicate in some truly astounding ways---was a big hit at TED. This week, at TED India, inventor Pranav Mistry announced that the technology will be released as open source...in a matter of months.

"Rather than waiting for that time to come, I want people to make their own system. Why not?," Mistry says in an article on Rediff Business. "People will be able to make their own hardware. I will give them instructions how to make it. And also provide them key software...give them basic key software layers...they will be able to build their own applications. They will be able to modify base level and do anything".

Makers, start your engines.

Mistry to make digital "Sixth Sense" open source on Rediff Business
The importance of Sixth Sense going open source on zdnet

Sixth Sense augmented reality device goes open source on Singularity Hub (natch)